Sunday, September 30, 2012

Starting out

It's been a long time since I've had an active blog, and because I'm entering a time in my life that I'll supposedly look back fondly upon, I figure I should try and start one up.  Personally, I think the route my life is taking looks to be downright terrifying ~57% of the time, but that is primarily because I don't really care much for drastic change. So, moving myself from good ol' Michigan down to Arkansas for a PhD program in something I haven't previously studied using methods I am new at, and settling myself successfully in an area where I don't know anyone is a little outside of my realm of comfort. But, I'm going to try not to dwell too much on it being a bit rough and not say "Why didn't I go to School X instead?!" too many times.

Besides the heat, though, I don't mind it here.  I love a lot of the people I've met and don't dislike anyone so far. I was/am fairly introverted and secretly shy, so it's been hard to not give into the neurotic tendency to try and analyze what other people are thinking about me and/if they may like me. If they do, they do. And if they don't, well, fuck it.  I think I know what I want out of this experience (a PhD with an awesome CV and acceptance into an awesome post-doc), and I think as a lady in science, it's hard to not be pegged as a bitch when you're in a highly competitive field. Haters gonna hate regardless, and I'd rather go about my day thinking that everyone is as amiable about character judgements as I am.  But, whatever. I got a kick-ass scholarship to do something I don't have any knowledge of -- so either a bunch of high-ranking people are idiots, or I am fully capable of kicking ass and taking names.

I tend to be a bit of a flake when it comes to constancy of habit with things like writing. So, hopefully this will work to keep me a bit more consistent with just getting used to the idea of putting things down on "paper."  I also hope that eventually I'll be posting some reflections/reviews of books and/or journal article concepts, just to keep myself from getting too rusty. In my dreams, I grow up to be someone like Rob Dunn (check it out) and do kick-ass research using bugs as a proxy to explore cool systems and ideas AND can write for the masses via Scientific America and National Geographic. Also, get a paper published in Science or PNAS.

Don't stay static, people!