Decisions.

My next tattoo will likely have a llama and a giant anteater in it. Lovely. :)

do you know what a "plethora" is?

These types of conversations happen to me a lot. Do I know where the "gonocoxite" or "supraalars" are (or what they are?) on an insect? Well, yes, because I've worked on Chironomids in the past but usually the answer is "No?", and this:

source

Which is why I like this film clip so much!

Just a little note:

James Joyce is known for giving us the secular meaning of "epiphany," using the word to mean the "revelation of the whatness of a thing," the moment when "the soul of the commonest object [...] seems to us radiant."

via The Writer's Almanac today.

So beautiful. The revelation of the whatness of a thing.

The angler fish: video

An awesome bit of Friday science.

Give me a bit more time

... to get my resolutions in order. :)

In the meantime...

This is so cute:

And a few excellent blog posts from people who are much more on top of life than I am.

The always-wonderful Neil Gaiman wishing us Bravery and Joy in this new year (love this).

Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) makes me laugh nearly every time I read her stuff. Here's an excellent one about inspirational stuff on pinterest.

And, lastly, two inspirational posts by Mara Glatzel that speak to me about not being broken (it's so easy to think you are - either broken or a ruiner) and not being too much (though people may say you are). 

Happy New Year!

A little video I found hilarious.

I love the "I" vs. "them" conundrum that plays out every day in real life. It's just so fascinating.
I had a good, boozeless NYE celebration and accidentally made it to midnight when I was checking my e-mail via my phone while laying in bed. Had an excellent Jan 1st, though. Overall, I can't complain.
I'm hoping to cement and post my "resolutions" in a day or so. Until then, consider the "you" in the video all the stuff you're gonna dominate this year.
Get it!

On things like The Proposal and money

I'm sitting here on the couch in my Father's house watching "The Proposal" (one of my sister's favorite slightly silly movies). My brother is playing on the  computer, and my sis is making lasagna. And I, I am drinking coffee and thinking about if I will run before dinner or after. And I am struck by how desperately full of love I am for my siblings and family. Ooch, I love you so hard it hurts.  I am thankful indeed to have been blessed with such stupendous siblings.

A haiku I wrote about my sisters yesterday;
Economist and
chemist, discuss strategy.
iPad games. Sisters.

And a little piece on writing I love, because it applies to anything you do for joy.

Money….not very much, but better than it’s ever been before. Probably it will all be taken away from me, or will be worth nothing, just when I have written my last word and feel the time has come to sit back and watch the flowers unfolding. However, that is a morbid thought. The only fact that matters is that there is money in the bank. It has accumulated there, mysteriously, because every day I lock myself up in a room and guide my pen over sheets of paper, and then sell those sheets of paper. That, you will agree, is an exceedingly peculiar way of earning one’s living. Making odd scrawls on a sheet of paper…rather ugly, hurried scrawls, blocked over, scratched out, very painfully erased and amended…and then exchanging those scrawls for beautiful, tangible things, like tulip bulbs, and shelled walnuts, and bottles of mysterious, dusty, and exquisitely fragrant Chablis! Very odd indeed.

But then, the minute any man except the farm labourer begins to ponder the sources of his income, he will feel inclined to hang his head in shame, unless he is a charlatan or a stockbroker.

– Beverley Nichols, Village in a Valley

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everyone!

I made it home to Michigan after a grueling ten hundred hour trip (17 hours...). The trip was longer because I decided to do that "Home to Michigan Burpee Challenge!" where I'd do a burpee for every mile I traveled home. So, every 100 miles or so, I' d stop and do burpees. Which was initially pretty fun, but got to be quite a bit of a drag later on, as well as having the unfortunate side effect of adding over an hour to my total travel time. Blarg.

But, I did it. And, in retrospect, I don't regret it, so it must not have been too bad.

Christmas itself was lovely. I got the sweatpants I wanted (Michigan!) some additional, unexpected and undeserved gifts, and got to enjoy seeing my Dad open a new iPad all us kids pooled in to get him. It was super fun. :)

Then, I ate some delicious cheesecake my sister made and plated up (Paleo be damned)!

Seriously. Amazing.

(Sidenote: I'm blogging from my iPad, so the formatting is a little off. Sorry.)

Then, today, I went out and not only ate sushi, but got a new tattoo from the awesome Gareth Hawkins.  The photo below is of the outline, partially finished, from my angle. Golly, it ached, but nothing compared to the brutality that was the reworking of the sternum tattoo. Ooch. I'll never forget that.

All in all, a lovely few days. I'm hoping to get to Crossfit 616 in the next day or two, but we'll see how the ol' ribs stand up! I went for a sweet run this morning with a new Zombies, Run! app on my phone, which made it more exciting than it would have otherwise been.

Mary Roach's Ted Talk

Oh, and really quickly, because I had this as a draft, but didn't publish it... here is an interesting (and super funny) TED talk by Mary Roach, author of "Bonk" (and "Stiff" and a number of other lovely books). I've read almost all of Mary's books and love them. Reading her, she seems amazingly personable and funny, and I think this also comes through in a really delightful way in this talk too. 

NSFW without headphones, but should be otherwise.

Mitten bound

So excited, non-existent bloggy friends!I'm headed back to the Great (not so very) White North in a few hours!

This time, to keep it interesting, I've opted to try and do a burpee for each mile traveled. So hyped. Depending on the route, that means by tomorrow sometime I'll have completed between 840 and 890 burpees. I'm going to try and make a little compilation video, but we'll see how the ol' iPhone works with me.

Like Robert Frost, I've "...miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."
:)

Happy and safe travels to all who are traveling this weekend, especially if you're headed into snow.

"Because it's there..." and "because it's addictive."

Ben Saunder's lovely TED talk about getting out and living life. I can't claim I found this on my own; the lovely Crossfit616 in Grand Rapids has a blog (which I follow) and they mentioned it (and cited where they found it).

Ben is right -- it can be addictive. But the mindset has to be there to want to push the envelope and not settle. So, push, people. Push. 

Side note: if you're in Grand Rapids, Michigan and are XFit inclined, check out Crossfit 616. Seriously awesome people who are amazingly welcoming and cheerful about wanting to get in a good hard workout. I did "Murph" for the first time with them over Thanksgiving break. About killed me. I loved it.

A lovely list of advice...

As usual, this is from my favorite list-making site, Thought Catalog.
25 ways to make your life better immediately. 
I like the majority of them, but #25 is especially true: Love Hard. Go out and try to love as hard as you can.

But to this, I also want to add -- allow yourself to be loved hard. I feel like loving hard can be a little freaky to the people around you, especially when you aren't used to it. I know that it is much easier for me to actively love hard than to accept being loved hard.  It's scary. And it's hard to overcome the "I don't deserve this/to be happy" slump that is easy to fall into.

I think it can be very difficult to be loved hard without thinking that there are a slew of other social obligations that are associated with it. This is definitely true for me because it is hard for me to separate friends from lovers. This may be because I didn't attend public school early on and didn't interact much with a non-related, same-age cohort until sophomore year of highschool, where the waters were already heavily muddied with hormones. So I tend to rely a lot on the internet (totally unmuddled, right?) to try and help me figure out social context... which can be confusing, because some stuff out there doesn't even make intuitive sense.

Plus, I think there is a complicated social dance around friendship and love and the idea that somehow something that doesn't turn into a romantic love isn't as "worthy." This idea that  romantic love trumps platonic love in terms of intensity is simply myopic.  


But do it! Let yourself be loved hard by everyone in your life. And love the people in your life so, so hard.

Here are some hyena pictures to portray this. Side note: I friggin' love spotted hyenas. Their social order is incredibly complex, which makes their evolutionary history really alluring. Plus, they are total badasses and uniquely gorgeous. If anything can say "hard love/love hard" it's hyenas.

(source)

 Hanging with a lion -- still cool. (source)

Ben Folds for Wednesday

Updated to add this, because that seems a little too melancholic for Wednesday... and I hope I will feel this excited about going to the mall to finish up my Christmas shopping today or tomorrow:
(<3 you, HIMYM!)

traumatic insemination

A cool PLOS ONE article about the scents associated with bedbug sex. Gotta love it, because bedbugs have this traumatic insemination technique which is sort of alarming, sort of kink-ish, and pretty cool when you take a moment to wonder about the evolution of such a behavior.

old music monday.

It's Monday, friends. I am both "guh" and "huzzah."  It's winter break, so I don't have to do too much besides the tedium of mite sorting (which isn't that bad), some additional manuscript work (toxicity ms, I'm coming for you, you bastard), workout, and start getting hyped about heading to the Mitten this Saturday night.

This is so true. I'm tough! (source)

Side note: check this out. WTF? Nice try, Wisconsin. GTFO of this mitten party. No one needs three mittens.

(source)

Here are some songs I listen to when driving back to Michigan:

Chicago traffic, I'm looking at you. With hate, and sort of love.

This gem is a song by Hot Hot Heat, a band I listened to in highschool and early college obsessively. I recently found a pile of burned CDs and am enjoying listening to them in the car. 

And, finally, here's a poem, by Jack Gilbert. Which I like, in a sort of melancholic way.   I'm trying to walk around a lot more -- to the farm to catch the bus to campus, around my neighborhood after dinner -- and this is the sort of sweetly sad things I like to muse on while out and about. It hit my inbox a few days ago and I need somewhere to put it down to remember it. If you like what you read, this, this, and this are also worth perusing if you have a second to spare.

Meaning Well

by Jack Gilbert

Marrying is like somebody

throwing the baby up.
It happy and them throwing it
higher. To the ceiling.
Which jars the loose bulb
and it goes out
as the baby starts down.

Reindeer Games, Little Rock, AR

Saturday I went to a crossfit competition with some people from the box. Six of us from CFFay went to the Reindeer Games, hosted by West Little Rock Crossfit. Overall, we did really well, I think. HB took first in her division (intermediate), J took third in his (intermediate), and I took first in mine (novice). The rest of the crew did very well, with the majority of finishes being top 5. I was inordinately thrilled because I haven't won anything in a real sort of competition that I can remember. The metcon definitely catered to me by starting off with a row, which was nice. Overall, the experience helped cement in me a real desire to become better at the skill and body-weight movements holding me back (double unders, pullups, etc.), because once I get those, I'm strong enough to compete in intermediate divisions and maybe do okay. And get stronger, of course. Always stronger.

That said, this was an inaugural event... that may not be around next year. Fairly sure I wouldn't go back, unless I don't go to Shredfest next year and just want a fun competition. It wasn't very well organized from the outset, but the Thruster ladder went down without any major problems for all divisions, despite starting almost an hour late and with some frustrating judging (this lack of consistency in judging seems to be par for the course for many competitions, so I wasn't too concerned about it. I knew I was doing the full ROM for my stuff and not cheating the system, which is really what mattered to me). It was during the metcon WOD that things really fell apart. I went in the very first heat (novice women), which was good, because, while there were a few little quirks (my rower counted down 3,2,1 GO -- and I went -- but the clock wasn't synced up, so I sort of false started... but it ended up working out. Still, frustrating).

Problems started getting a little more severe with multiple starts that were not being recorded in the 2nd novice women's heat (my heart was going out to them -- what a demoralizing event to have to keep resetting after starting your rower! Ugh. But those ladies rocked that shit out, regardless). You could tell that the the gear hadn't really been checked beforehand, which was frustrating. After that, things really started going down hill with increasingly less and less organization. It was very frustrating. The intermediate men's heats took a long long time, with the athletes sitting waiting on the rowers for upwards of 15 minutes while the MC appeared to be doing nothing but drinking. I like that people have a good time at CFit competitions, but when the guys that are in charge of the event appear to be drinking and/or drunk before the competition is over and WHILE the entire event is sort of falling apart... it is no good. J from our box ended up helping them figure out the scoring system... and I could continue on with the unorganized, unprofessional clusterfuck that it ended up turning into.

That said, there were a few ladies there that were intensely hardworking. Not sure who they were affiliated with, but.. kudos, ladies! Without you, it would have disintegrated further, faster, and likely not recovered. So, I had fun, but the fuckery and the fact that we were in Little Rock from 8:30am-ish to 5:30ish for a 2 WOD competition with just under 100 competitors (across the 3 divisions) is a little too much for me to want to go back for. So, thanks for the win and the cool prizes (thanks to the sponsors: Avia shoes and Progenex)! But it'll take some coaxing for me to go back again, Little Rock Crossfit affiliates.

Weekend dry ice!

It's an atypically balmy December day today -- both for December, but also for Arkansas (I think) -- and I can't help but love it (though... there should be snow!). I'm working on editing the last 2 graphics for my accepted manuscript, then I'll be converting them to PDFs and sending it off. After that, I hope to get out and climb some trees. Yes, I am quite old enough to not be doing such things, but I don't really care.

This weekend has been just chalk full of awesomeness for me. Either I won some sort of cosmic lottery or something really terrible is going to happen to me very soon. I'm hoping for the former, but am trying to take the time to really love all the cool stuff that's happening to me, just in case the latter is true.

Saturday:
Reindeer Games in Little Rock with CFFay
Came home, showered, went out to celebrate and had an unexpectedly excellent time.

Sunday:
This day is so delicious I could seriously eat it up. I cooked a turkey! I took a lovely nap. I finally ordered the frothy delicious drink that I was given by accident by someone at Starbucks a week ago (a cappuccino!) I cleaned my kitchen and did laundry. I was invited to a Tuesday breakfast date by a friend. I'm going to climb some trees today. I am enjoying sitting in the library and people watching. 

It's so foamy I could DIE! (source)

 ... and speaking of Foamy... and other awesome illwillpress.com videos.

Also, here is a sweet video on dry ice + a swimming pool. The video is a bit long and choppy, but watching just a bit of it gets the point across. I want to swim through a carbon dioxide fog!

Haiku and meteors

I love haiku. It's like the strict version of all of William Carlos Williams' little poems that I love so much. I don't believe I've posted it here before, so here is one of my favorite WCW poems:

This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos Williams


I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold


So beautiful. And, it never fails to make me laugh a little. Regardless of all the various literary interpretations of the poem (including rape?), I just love it for the words it consists of.  There is an awesome This American Life broadcast called "Mistakes were Made" that includes some excellent spoofs of this lovely poem. I don't care if it's cliche that I like it so much; I do. And that's that.

Anyway, this post wasn't initially intended to be a praise of WCW's poem, but a platform for two little haiku poems I wrote... which also make me laugh.  Making up my own little 5,7,5 syllable ditties is usually a ton of fun, though can get frustrating when you want to fit something in that just... won't... fit. Here they are:

Mumford and Sons croon
"Hold onto what you believe."
Next up? Knife Party.

Drinking decaf now.
Mental fatigue hits hard. I
fucking hate haiku.

Heh! Do good work, friends! Enjoy the weather, and don't forget about the meteor shower tonight!

Ozark Shredfest + Finals

As promised... I'm going to try and explain a little more about what's been happening. But, alas, I'm largely lazy, so it'll be a bit ramble-y.

Ozark Mountain Shredfest! My first individual, official XFit competition. I was nervous. I was in the intermediate category, which is a little above my paygrade at the moment, but it looked like fun and the ever-encouraging HB was encouraging me to go for it. So, I did. (Note: HB also competed in the intermediate category and hit a super solid third place finish! Yeah!)

I feel horrible saying it, but it was my goal to not finish last... and I didn't. So, that made it a win for me. I knew the DU would screw me (I just got them as a single, single, DU, single, etc., and I can't get too many), and the pullups would also be limiting (just got kipping... and poorly).  That said, I went in with a good attitude and just wanted to check out what it felt like.

Saturday's Schedule:
Shred-Fest Intermediate WODS 1 & 2
WOD1: 12 min continuous running clock:
6 min to establish 1 rep max Clean; athlete must load their own bar. (Can rest with remaining time) at 6 min athlete must have their own weights set up and go right into WOD 2 for time.
WOD2: 4 rounds (6min time cap)(Scored separately)
4 Power Clean 155/95
8 Box Jumps 24/20(Games Standard)
12 Pullups
(Plates athletes will be given: 4 x 45, 2 x 35, 2 x 25, 2 x 1

Shred Fest Intermediate WOD 3
WOD3: for time (18 min time cap)
Buy-in: 1,000 meter row
3 rounds:
14 Hand release pushups feet on ball
14 KB Swings 55/35
14 DU
Buy out: 1,000 meter row

I wanted to lift heavy as possible for the Clean, but we don't really do just Cleans in my box much (more C+J action), and my oly lifts are lacking in explosive power because I also don't fully open my hips, and I'm trying to work on that more... so I tend to be slow off the line to try and consciously remember to open the hips up. This isn't really working for me well, and my clean was off. I was also nervous as hell and in the first lane... right by the bleachers. And we were using a 35# bar... which shouldn't have made a difference, but was just another little thing. Anyway. I'd texted a coach at my box and he said "160!" which was exciting sounding, but not likely. I tried, but ended biffing 125 TWICE on the floor (right into the chest)... which is a weight I'd lifted twice in warm up without feeling bad. Ugh. I ended up with 130, after failing 135. Definitely nerves, because I just wasn't shooting my arms under the bar. It was gross. But, oh well.

Right into the 2nd WOD, which was easy until the pullups... and I got 4. So, that sucked and emphasized my need to work on pullups, which I knew. But, my judges were both really cool. and I felt like I went out and tried hard, which is all I could have hoped for. I wish that I'd gotten through to start a second round, though! Those PC were eaaaaaasy. Love powering stuff!

I had high hopes for the 3rd WOD, because I love to row. Well, I don't love love it, but I'm pretty decent at it. The Pushups looked brutal, and the DU's were going to take me a long-ass time, so I figured, what the hell, and went hard on the buy in. I was the first off the rower by a decent number of seconds (not a surprise), and got through all 3 rounds (HOLLA DU's!! I earned each of those little suckers!) and ran out of time in my buyout. I did get through 235 m in 51 seconds though, which was pretty cool, considering how dead I felt.

Sunday:
WOD4: 3 attempts (6 min time cap)
1 Snatch
1 Hang Snatch
*if athlete completes, drops bar or fails during the two reps that will = 1 attempt.(athletes will be given: 4 x 45, 2 x 35, 2 x 25, 2 x 15, 2 x 10, 2 x 5, 2 x 2.5)
3 min weight setup and change
WOD5 (8 minute time cap)
12-10-8-6-4-2 Men/ 10-8-6-4-2 Women
HSPU with abmat
Toes 2 Bar
3 deadlifts at end of each round of HSPU & toes to bar 250/155

WOD6: 6 min AMRAP
3 Power Snatch 105/65
6 OH Squat 105/65
9 Bar Facing Burpees

Again, the WODs were set up to have 4&5 back to back (with a 3 minute reset between), then 6 later. It was cool because the heats were re-set and HB was in a later heat than I was, so she could coach me a bit from the sidelines, which was cheering.

I did okay on the Snatch. It's my worst lift because I hate the feeling of dropping under the bar into a full squat, but it went okay. My initial was 85 (my former 1RM), then 95 (easyish)... and then I loaded 105 on. I should have just gone with 100, but HB said 105, which I likely could have lifted, but I was feeling nervous again because the announcer announced me! GUH!  Why couldn't he have announced me the day before when I was blowing through the rower?! heh. Plus, everyone in my heat blew through their 3 attempts (I'd do one, take a minute and a half rest and set my bar, then lift again), so when I set up my 105 attempt... there was no one else lifting. So I kinda got a "okay, let's hurry along" mindset and just lifted to get it over with, which is a recipe for biffing... which I did. Oh well.

WOD 5 sucked. DNF, no reps for me. When it was posted the night before I railed and kicked and ranted and shed a few tears. I was furious. I felt defeated before even walking into the gym on Sunday. HSPU were not on the required movements needed for the intermediate division and they hadn't teased anything early about it (which they had for DUs)... and I couldn't even kick up against the wall. Seriously. I tried for 30 minutes Saturday night around our hotel and failed. I was seriously considering scratching. But, HB and the long-suffering Ross talked me out of it, which was good. And I showed up to the WOD feeling like... whatever I did would be a PR. So, I'd rock that shit.  And I did kickups for 8 minutes and, I hear, nearly was able to kip up into a HSPU. But, no cigar.

WOD 6... it was good. I had fun. I wish I'd have game played a little more aggressively, but it was still fun. I made it through 4 rounds (my goal) and 4 reps. Next time, I'll jump n' spin over that bar, because my burpees were slower than they should have been, but I was happy because the last WOD I could !!!doallthemovements!!! Yay!

Next year, I hope to be back, have a good handle on all the movements, and have fun kicking a bit more WOD ass. I did have a good time, though, so thanks Crossfit 417!

I studied between the WODs on Sunday, and a bit on Sat. But it was pretty rough. After WOD 5 I was just struck by a fatigue train. So. tired. After 6, it was worse. I couldn't decide if I was hungry or tired or thirsty. So, I ate a bit too much, under hydrated, and didn't sleep. I studied. We got back lateish on Sunday night (7ish?) and I studied/dicked around until 11pm, went to bed, got up at 3:30am and studied my ass off for my 10am final (dominated!!). Then, ate lunch, and studied my ass off for a Tuesday final. Went to the box, worked out gently, then studied until 11, got up at 3:30am... and studied and took a 1pm final... which I also dominated.

SO, HOLLA! Skipped an awesome XFit workout (PRs were trying to be aimed for... but I knew it wasn't gonna happen for my sleep deprived self) so I took myself to an early showing of The Rise of the Guardians. It was a cute movie, and I had fun sitting in the very middle of a completely empty theater. Then, I ordered some sushi from Sumo and dominated it at home. Spicy Tuna Roll for the win. Delicious. ... then I ate a whole bunch of stuff I wasn't hungry for but was tired for... which wasn't the most auspicious ending to a cool day, but wasn't horrible either.

Today!  I had a ton more sleep. And feel way better and prepared to both go grocery shopping and also to dominate the long Metcon WOD this afternoon at the box. :)

And, because I'm still a bit tired and easily amused.. this is so true. I love you nature.

Finished finals! My feelings, in gifs.

How I feel right now!

AND!

How I hope I do not feel when the grades are posted:

Finally, what I'm gonna be going out and doing on Thursday or Saturday night! -- partying and trying to mingle with the normal people... ! :)